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We didn't do the whole family bed thing. They slept with us in Arm's Reach co-sleepers for the first four months and honestly, although I am sure we probably had sex during that time, I certainly have no memory of it (don't tell the Mister; we'll let him go on thinking it was spectacular).
There is nothing wrong with having sex while baby snoozes nearby, or even in the same bed (unless you're the types who roll around like Roman wrestlers).
But the truth is, most people are a little uncomfortable doing the nasty in the same bed, or even the same room, as their babies and small children. Still, needs are needs and sex is an important part of a relationship, so what do all those co-sleepers do?
And what about when baby grows up a little?
We have friends who did the family bed thing until their oldest was about 10. They never had sex in their bed. Baby number two was conceived in a hot tub (chicka chicka bow bow) and sometimes, after the kids were asleep, they would sneak off to the couch and get a little action there. But their sex life seriously suffered.
To me this sounds like way too big a sacrifice. We bought that nice mattress for two things: sleep and sex. And I am not going to let it go to waste. Plus, to my mind, a healthy, happy marriage is as much a part of a strong family as healthy, secure children.
I'm lucky, though. I don't have a big problem with having sex in the same room as my kids. We are blessed with very sound sleepers. It doesn't come up often (the kids are in their own room), but I am not too worried about it when it does. If they catch us I can always explain that mommy and daddy were wrestling (just like the Romans!).
Are you ready for a little over-share? Stop reading here if the answer is no.
We recently did it at family camp. In a cabin. With our kids asleep in bunk beds about six feet away. They slept right through it. It was fun. I am proud.
I am also glad we don't have to think about the logistics and geography of our sex life every time the mood strikes.
Opinions expressed by parent contributors are their own.