Is it normal to miss the freedom I had before becoming a mother?

Is it normal to miss the freedom I had before becoming a mother?

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Life changes after a baby is born. Roles shift, hormones rage, chores multiply, finances alter. Having a baby challenges your sense of control, leaving you feeling depleted and overwhelmed. You also lose some of your freedom, which can be particularly difficult for many women.

Parenthood is overwhelming because no mother ever thinks she has enough time, help, training, money, or emotional support. This can leave moms feeling trapped, bored, resentful, depressed, irritable, or angry. All of these feelings are normal.

What can you do about them? Identify which parts of your "old life" you miss. Make a list and be very specific — write out "I miss spending time with my best friend" or "I miss staying up late and going out." Come up with as many things as you can and jot each one down, even those that seem silly to you, such as "I miss going out for pizza on Friday night."

The more things you include in the list, the easier it'll be for you to pinpoint exactly how you're feeling. When you're finished, go over each item on the list with your partner or a close friend. See how you can add one or two back into your schedule and then make a point of scheduling the activities. All of these things need not be lost forever.

This exercise really does work. It's a way of taking charge of your life again — and regaining control is essential to reclaiming your sense of balance.

Once you become aware of the things you miss, you'll be able to give yourself permission to feel the loss without feeling anxious or resentful. After all, losses are a necessary part of major life changes, and you may soon find that some of these losses pave the way for new joys and experiences.

Remember, having a baby doesn't mean giving up all the things you enjoy. It's important to take care of you, too. If you still feel unsettled, you may want to talk to other moms about how they're handling their loss of freedom or see a therapist so you can better identify ways to adjust.

Watch the video: Buddhism and Love. Ajahn Brahm. 12 February 2021 (July 2022).


  1. Atum

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  2. Clifton

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