Fears begin to diversify with the development of mental development with the age of 2 and the expansion of imagination. For this reason, children who have a fearful dream at night and waking up crying in the age range of 2-3 years are very often experienced. Generally, the most common fears between the ages of 2-5 are thieves, imaginary creatures, dogs, darkness, motor noise, lightning, sudden sound and being alone.
Sometimes parents can also feed the child's fearAlthough fears are part of the normal development process, the parent's response and general parental attitudes play an important role in maintaining or relieving the fear of the child.
For example, trying to direct the child by threatening is a form of fear that the parent creates and maintains. Ilkel I will tell you what your father did when he came!, Or, ilkel If you do the same thing again, I'll take you to the doctor and give you an injection! Ilkel that may cause years of fears to settle. Or underestimating the child's fear and making fun of him does not reduce the fear and may make him feel lonely and incomprehensible. Ignoring fears as much as ignoring them can increase the child's fear. This situation is very common in anxious and protective parents. For example, every child who starts school has some concern about this new experience, and the fear of the child who is exposed to worried warnings such as 'be careful there, don't let the big children hit you, tell your teacher if something happens' increases.
What is our role in dealing with the child's fear?• Let's approach with empathy; When the child arrives with fear, it is very important to first try to listen and understand. Take a child who says I'm afraid of the dark. Darkness may be different from what it calls us. The question we are going to ask is exactly what fear of darkness is? Not seeing what's around you? Is it one of the monsters he thinks appeared in the dark? The different shapes that the figures in his room take in the dark? In order to help the child overcome his fear, we must first understand what he is experiencing.
• Let's involve the child in the solution; It is very important that we support him when the child arrives with fear. But there is one point to note here; we should support the fear, we should not try to solve it on our own and leave the child weak. Keep in mind; this fear is the child's problem, and you are the one who helped him overcome this negative emotion. For example, a child who is afraid of the darkness can say yok There is nothing to be afraid of yerine, or instead of sticking with you every time it is dark, putting a low wattage electric lamp that he can turn on and off, or giving a flashlight to use when he is scared at night increases motivation to solve the problem. Again, organizing various games with the child in the dark is a useful method. If what they fear is monsters, it is also useful to have a picture of the monster in your imagination, to destroy the monster by scribbling or tearing the paper, or to add items that will funny the drawn monster and help your child find sympathetic.
• Let's give time; When children experience a fear, it is normal for this to continue for a while. The fear of being talkable, listening to examples of similar situations, developing a number of methods to cope with fear allow the child to gradually overcome this negativity. It is also an important support not to rush and give time to the child.